Four Books That Helped Me Embrace Networking (Even as an Introvert)

It’s weird being an introvert that loves people. 

Especially as a business owner. 

I’ve struggled my whole adult life with the idea of networking. I knew it was important, so I’d sign up for all kinds of networking events, fully intending to attend, but then…

IF I even left my house at all, I’d circle the block or sit in the parking lot obsessing about what to say, where to stand, or whether I’d fit in. I had to give myself a pep talk to actually walk in the door. 

Sometimes I’d actually go in. 

But mostly I didn’t. I wasn’t very good at pep talks back then. 

I would get physically sick to my stomach. I even threw up in the parking lot a few times. 

Then I’d wipe my mouth, pat myself on the back, turn around and go home. 

“At least I tried,” I’d say. 

But I needed to move through that networking anguish. I knew I liked people. This anxiety wasn’t about them, it was about me. 

And, as a business-owner, I knew I actually needed people, aka customers and referral partners, in order to succeed, so I had to get over it. 

As I usually do in these situations, I started reading books to learn strategies and perspective. 

Four of these books helped boost my confidence and clarify my networking strategies.

The Seven Levels of Communication by Michael Maher

This book was a foundational piece of my entire notary business and I highly recommend reading it. But in particular, I learned Stacked Networking. The magic of this strategy is that it’s one-to-one, which, as an introvert, helped ease me into networking. 

With Stacked Networking, you essentially park yourself in one spot, like a restaurant or a coffee shop for a few hours and you stack a few appointments back to back. The idea is to have authentic conversations with people in your network, learning how to support each other.

Then, occasionally, you may have a little overlap, where someone shows up early, and you get a chance to introduce and edify two people in your network. You can actually get pretty strategic with this and make some powerful introductions that change the course of lives and business. 

Super Connector by Scott Gerber and Ryan Paugh

If you’re ready to elevate your network, this is the book that will do it for you. I continue to learn so much from this book, reading it again each year. 

I learned that high performers guard their time and their network as if they were gold. That means if I wanted access to them or their connections, I had to bring value and adjust my communication. CEO’s, top performing attorneys, real estate agents, escrow managers- every one I wanted to work with- had a different expectation for communication than I was used to at the time. 

Super Connector gave me specific strategies for identifying ways to be a resource to my network. It taught me the proper way to make a professional introduction. Mainly, it shone a spotlight on the many ways I was micro-damaging relationships in my network without even realizing it.  

Croissants Vs. Bagels by Robbie Samuels

This book is packed with real-world strategies for actually being in a room networking. What stands out the most, and I constantly have running through my mind is the visual of an open-armed croissant, welcoming others into a conversation, versus the closed up circle of the bagel. 

This helps me remember to acknowledge and welcome new people into a room or a group of people having a conversation at an event. I need to remember that they may have just been throwing up in the parking lot. 

I wish more people had done that for me in my younger years of networking. Perhaps I would have enjoyed it more. And that’s part of the problem with networking. So many people do it “wrong” and it puts a bad taste in our mouth. Networking is not selling, and so many forget that. 

Lunching With Lions by Katherine McGraw Patterson

There is so much I love about Lunching With Lions. You’ve heard the phrase, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”? Well, that’s exactly what happened with Katherine and her book. I needed this. 

Lunching With Lions is the permission slip you need to choose the networking group that allows you to be your most authentic self, and say no to anything else that doesn't support that. It’s written specifically for entrepreneurs that are “networking-averse,” so if you’re anything like me, you’ll relate well to her strategies. 

Katherine consistently reiterates that networking, elevator speeches, and events are not all about selling. They’re about building relationships. And I don’t know about you, but when the pressure to sell is removed, I can relax a little bit and just have some fun connecting with people. 

The sales and referrals come later when we just shine. 

It’s All About Who You Know

Networking really is a key element to your success. People say that success is all about who you know. In many ways that is true. 

But don’t use that as an excuse not to network. 

Always remember you can know everyone you need to know to succeed too. 

In fact, you probably already do. 

I firmly believe that you already know the ideal clients you crave. And if you don’t know them directly, they’re just one introduction away. 

Your network is the way. 

Bill Soroka is on a mission to help mobile notaries serve more clients, make more money, and build a business that thrives beyond loan signings, self-reliant & untethered to the housing industry. You can join him with the most committed notaries on earth in the Notary Business Builder learning community. 

🥅With a few weekly activities, you could be on your way to MORE estate planning attorney clients. I created a small guide I call, Daily Do’s to Amplify Your Marketing to Estate Planning Attorneys. 🔊

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